How to Make Friends as a Mom
- Mar 14, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Apr 15
Hello! We are veteran homeschoolers. We invite you to browse our website for more articles about navigating the homeschool world, encouragement when making friends and limiting screen time for your family. This site is not monetized.
We all need real friendships. Having real friends -- in real life -- is critical to our mental and spiritual health. We, as human beings, thrive when we interact with others directly, regardless of whether those interactions involve positive or negative emotions. In any case, when we do not have friendships, we devolve and wither: we miss out on the important opportunties, there's no support from others when we need it, and our social skills decay. And when we are only interacting with others through social media (viewing, liking, commenting, etc.), we lose an important part of our humanity.
So how do you build a friendship?
There are so many opportunities to meet people. Do you remember that family at your child's summer camp? What about that local group that was advertising a Mom's night out? There are several challenges involved in making friends. First, there's the tricky part of getting past the awkward beginning. Then you have to be consistent and put in the effort to maintain the friendship. And to have the greatest likelihood of success in either of these, its important to take your relationships seriously and make them a priority.
Make new friends!
Be brave: chat with a stranger at the park or at summer camp pickup and exchange phone numbers. Don’t forget to message them soon!
Make the first move! If neither of you choose to interact, who will?
Look up! Include new people in your life. Do not create a clique with only your close friends that you are comfortable with. "Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold".
Be Reachable. Do not screen your calls/ messaging. Since you are exchanging numbers frequently, people who are not in your phone contacts or currently Facebook friends, may try to contact you. Don't blow them off! That person is being kind by reaching out to you and it is rude to ignore their message just because you don't know them, don't remember or don't have them saved in your contacts.
You only get one first impression: make it a good one.
Respect other peoples time: be punctual. Do not be late to meet-ups. No one likes to be stood up.
You're making friends for your kids too! When you make friends with other adults you're also enabling your kids to have social opportunities as well.
Have margin in your life for friendships. If someone invited you to a moms' night or a birthday party within the next few weeks, would you be able to go?
Be good company: make friendly conversation. If this sounds weird to you, consider making a list of things you might talk about when you meetup (holiday plans, vacation story, farm visit story, etc.). If your friendship is new, get to know them! Ask about their pets, hobbies, if their kids are in any extracurriculars. Don't gossip.
Don't be a "mean girl". Be mindful of the boundaries you make, people you ghost and the friendships you walk away from.
Tips for maintaining your friendships
Healthy friendships don’t happen by accident. They take work and intentional living and may require some sacrifices. Maintaining a friendship means texting people back in a timely manner, looking past your differences, and making time for meet-ups in real life. If you don't maintain your friendships, you'll lose them. If you don't water your plants, they'll wither and die, and friendships are the same way. Be loyal. Once you get past the awkward beginning, having a close friend with trust and rapport in your life is a true blessing. Keep in going!
Friendship dating is hard! It is so important to maintain your friendships after the first day. It is hard to make new friends and build rapport with them. It's hard reaching out to strangers on the internet and inviting them to meetup. It is hard to make the first movie and coordinate schedules. It's hard to chat with people at your child's dance class or summer camp and ask to exchange numbers. It's hard to work to make a good first impressions with strangers.
Be sure to work to maintain this friendship on your end in real life. Don't just "friend" them on FB or follow them on social media. Plan to invite them over for a playdate in a month or two. Add them to your address book, Christmas card list and birthday party guest list.
What we say when someone tries to friend us: "Thank you for the friend request; however, we do not friend any one on Facebook. We keep in touch with friends in real life and keep track of our contacts using an address book on Excel. We are always up for a meetup!"
It is unhealthy to maintain a friendship by yourself. You cannot be the only one inviting them to a playdate, sending cards and texting them. Hopefully, your new friend will put effort into the friendship and initiate meetups with you the future too. Reciprocate. If a mom is reaching out to you and inviting you to a party or to meetup, make a plan to host the next get together.
Text and call people back in a timely manner. Be reasonable. I am not saying you should drop everything right away. If you can't take the call or answer the text, reply as soon as you are able. It might also mean putting the contact on a to-do list and prioritizing.
When you are invited to something, go! Birthday parties, a Mom's night, getting together for a playdate. It is an act of kindness to show up and attend something you are invited to. The host is being kind by including you. Show up! If you can't go, RSVP! Thank them for the invitation and tell them you are not able to attend.
Us moms need adult interaction too.
Being a mom is a unique experience. Think about when you first became a parent and how you tried to maintain friendships with your single or married friends who did not have kids. It might have been challenging due to this new life stage you were in.
Homeschooling is also a unique endeavor and it is important to meet-up with people who share this experience.
Meeting up with your mom friends for coffee, dinner or a mom's night out party is super important.
Dads need some time with friends too. This post is written mostly for moms; however, we want to also encourage you to carve out some time in your schedule to get together for dinner or coffee with a friend as well.
Dear moms. Bring back the village
Being a mom is a unique experience. Think about how your friendships with couples without kids changed once you became a mom. Whether you are pregnant and just starting your family, chasing toddlers around the house or you are preparing to teach your teen how to drive a car, motherhood is a special and unique experience with it's own joys and challenges. We all need other moms to share those experiences with.
According to the article below, the "mean girl culture" is alive and well. You might have felt it as you have grown in your different stages of motherhood.
I invite you to join the effort to end "mean girl culture".
We cannot change other moms' behaviors. We can only focus on ourselves. Self reflect. Did I text my friend back in a timely manner? Am I reaching out to the new mom in my ___(school/ church/ neighborhood)___ to make them feel welcome? Do I have a good reason to decline an invitation? There are many ways we can be the village!
We hope this post encouraged you in your friendships as a mom.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
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