Dating your spouse
- rstinson10
- Sep 26
- 6 min read
There are many ways to socialize: going on field trips with your children, meeting up with friends, hosting a birthday party or mom's night out and having playdates. This post is about getting together with your husband for date night.
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It is our observation that many parents do not go on dates. My husband and I have a weekly date night and in our 14 years of marriage, we have rarely met any other parents (our peers) who have a regular date night like we do. And when we are out eating at a restaurant, we seldom see other couples in the dining room on a date.
This is a problem! Its a terrible cultural trend that we need to reverse. People used to go out and experience life, but in today's world we're either: a) too tired to do so, or b) too addicted to social media and streaming video to go out, or c) don't enjoy our relationships enough, or d) all of the above.
Some of you might remember dating your husband before you were married. How much fun it was to go out and spend time together? Think about the interesting places you visited and explored. Maybe you saw your favorite movie with your husband and it was memorable because you saw it on the big screen. Think about the romance you felt eating a fancy dessert in a seafood restaurant and the stillness you felt being away from the rat race for a few hours. You can still have these moments as parents!
We need to talk about divorce.
Divorce and single parenthood are very real parts of our culture. Social media and youtube is saturated with posts and videos often from struggling married couples and single parents discussing their struggles.
We are close with someone who is divorced. It lasted more than a year to settle and even after it was "over", the pain, dysfunctional co-parenting and other problems lay in it's wake. It is heartbreaking to witness this situation play out, even eyars later.
You might be thinking that going on a date is expensive. You are correct: you may have to budget for the costs of childcare and activities. But do you know what is more expensive than dating, both in the time lost and money spent? Divorce. "The average cost of a divorce in the U.S. is $19,458 per couple" for legal and lawyer fees. See link. And that number is not including the other costs of divorce such as setting up and maintaining a new life as a single parent; a second home, childcare, credit score damage, and moving expenses.
According to divorce rate statistics published by the Institute for Family Studies, about 42% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. The average duration of marriage that ends in divorce is 13 years. https://mazeoflove.com/divorce/
Virtually any married couple can attest that there are parts of marriage that can strain a relationship; bills, pregnancy, career commitments and boundary issues with extended family to name a few. We also live in a culture that places too much value on climbing the corporate ladder (the rat race); the calendar is filled with work and school, extracurriculars, dentist appointments and other commitments that everyone in the household becomes "two ships passing in the night".
One way to keep your marriage alive is to nurture the friendship aspect of your relationship. It is important to connect and chat with your husband about your day, your week and current events without interruptions. And have fun too!
This post is for marriages in all seasons; happily married, struggling, on the brink of divorce and everyone in between. We hope our article encourages you to make date nights a priority in your schedule and your budget.
Go on a date with your husband!!!
Some fun date night ideas
Go out for a double date
Parents need socialization too. We have had friends join us at our home for a budget friendly evening before. We played a party game like "Taboo" and chatted over some good dessert and snacks. Be on time if you are meeting your friends for a double date!
Escape rooms
We have done several before and they are a lot of fun. You are "locked" (not really) into a room and you must complete a set of puzzles in order to "get out" within an hour. This is fun to do as a couple, but even more fun to do as a larget group. So invite another couple to do it with you for a fun double (or triple) date.
Go see a play
Go see Wicked or Cirque du Soleil. Go see a comedy show! Some of the small playhouses are also very reasonably priced.
Eat at a restaurant
It is kind of special to go, sit down and enjoy the ambiance of eating at a restaurant. Some restaurants make great date nights like "melting pot" or a seafood restaurant. Hibachi is fun and delicious. Eat a fancy dessert together!
My husband and I often bring a small game to play at the table. Currently, we are working on a crossword puzzle.
Not every date needs to be at an expensive steakhouse. For a budget friendly option, you can opt for eating at a diner or a fast food restaurant occasionally.
Celebrate a milestone!
Your birthday, getting a promotion, your wedding anniversary and meeting a major life achievement all deserve to be celebrated! Celebrating these might mean eating cheesecake at a restaurant or doing something fun and different, such as going out for ice cream.
Go see a movie at the movie theater
There may even be some interesting movie theaters near you; there is a drive in movie theater and a restaurant movie theater that are local to us. I often watch trailers on youtube so we can plan ahead.
Get away for an overnight trip
If you are able, we highly recommend you go on a mini vacation with your husband. It doesn't need to be an expensive trip to Aruba. An overnight stay at a budget hotel, ordering room service and siting in the hot tup together can also be a fun and romantic trip.
Other great fun activities
Ice skating, bowling, paint and sip paint art classes, line dancing, mini-golfing, go to the swimming pool together! Get a couples massage! Go to a concert. Go to a museum or aquarium. What are you into? Do you think going kayaking is fun? Go to the batting cages!
Arrange childcare
Orlando nanny services
If you are in the Orlando, FL area visiting a theme park, there are private babysitting services available. They will come to your hotel or help you with another set of hands at the theme parks. This is an opportunity for you and your husband to go on a date when you are on vacation; go to a fancy dinner, visit the downtown shopping area and even visit the theme parks together.
"Kids Night Out"
Some children's places like our local art school and dance school have a "kids night out". They offer an evening babysitting time with an activity for the children to do.
Hire a nanny
Some of you might have "built- in" free childcare with extended family. Some of you don't. we want to encourage you to hire a nanny. This person would be a trusted, consistent caretaker for your children on a regular or as needed basis.
Budget friendly date ideas
Have a Home Date Night
Play a board game
Games like "Trekking" or "Ticket To Ride" are great games to play at home for a date night.
Order take out.
have someone else cook while you enjoy time alone with your spouse.
Watch a movie or show at home
We also like to buy used DVDs to enjoy classics and older titles.
Mix it up!
Not every date needs to be a steakhouse restaurant, a broadway show and a lavish trip to the city. Have a low key date sometimes. Do some low budget activities and eat at a diner or fast food restaurant on occasion.
Consider scheduling date night at different times.
Friday or Saturday night are peek hours for restaurants. You may be paying an hourly wage for your sitter to care for your child for your time to sit in the waiting area at a restaurant.
Consider celebrating special holidays like Valentine's day or Mother's day on a different day. Restaurants are usually very busy during those times as well.
Theaters and playhouses sometimes offer special matinee pricing for non peak hours.
Work nights? Your babysitter has limited availability? Consider having a date "morning" or date " lunch hour" if your schedule has more availability during other times than evenings.
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