Networking Tips to Grow Your Friendship Circle
- rstinson10
- Apr 15
- 7 min read
Updated: May 8
The importance of networking in real life
Making friends necessarily requires interacting with strangers, but if you have watched the news recently, experienced a scam or you've been burned by someone in the workplace, you know that the world can also be quite harsh. It can be challenging to find honest people to invite into your friendship circle that are not out to take or use you. The answer is to be safe, not paranoid with your life. One way to do that is to be intentional when meeting new people.
One of the benefits of homeschooling is we have and use the freedom of association. We can chose our childrens' teachers (or their tutor, nanny, dance teacher, etc.) and we can also choose the friends in our child's life and in our own lives. There are no bullies or bad influences. However, whether you are homeschooling or not, it is important to be proactive about making and maintaining your friendships. Healthy and safe relationships do not happen by accident: they take work to maintain them.
You have probably experienced networking through social media. Interacting with strangers online is one way to make friends (or business contacts), but it is not ideal: you really can't know if the person is who they say they are until after you've interacted with them in real life. People regularly steal other people's content, use AI, catfish or lie online. Cyber bullying occurs often, even to adults. You could be interacting with someone who is attempting to trap or scam you as well. You really don't know if you can trust the person on the other end of the line.
There are benefits to networking online, however when meeting someone new in person, you know who you are talking to because they are a live, breathing person, and not a false persona created by someone. Your IRL interaction is authentic and has integrity. It is easy to use discernment to choose to continue interacting with them or to move on, based upon your real experiences with person. Your interaction, no matter how small is the "interview". It is important to take advantage of these opportunities to make friends and make those moments count!
Every interaction you have with someone is an opportunity to network
Although there can be networking events with that specific goal, networking can happen anywhere you meet someone in person; chatting with another parent at the park while your children play, attending a birthday party, waiting in line at the grocery store and talking with other parents at music lessons. They are all great opportunities to make new friends! It is not enough to just join a group or sign your child up for dance and expect to make some friends there. It is important to chat with other adults there and make those connections.
Make a good first impression
You are looking for honest and safe people for your friendship circle, They are too. When you are out and about, make that first impression count! Avoid the bad mom/hot mess mom trend. Take care of yourself and love your family by presenting them as an example to others: with integrity and beauty. Be on time for appointments, classes and even parties. Make positive, engaging conversation. Smile and have good body language.
Helping others network
Helping other people network is also important because the rapport you build with someone can benefit someone else. That trust can be transferred and our communities benefit, grow and thrive because of it.
You may have experienced contacting or being someone's reference in a business situation. Job applicants share references with potential employers as a way to vouch for strangers who the potential employer has never met and encourage trust between the two parties. Think about how important and beneficial this situation is and what it would be like if this was not done.
When networking to make friends, you have the opportunity to help other people network in the same way a business reference can. You might know what it feels like to be the new person in a play group or meetup. If you know two or more people at the event, you can introduce them to each other. When we host parties, we introduce everyone to each other. It makes the time go quickly since everyone is engaged and having fun instead of sitting by themselves or in and out of cliques.
If you are interested in hosting an event to facilitate networking, Here are some of our tips for hosting moms' nights and play dates. Either one of these are great activities to do "one on one" with just one other family as a small group, but they can also be done as a group with multiple families.
The Art of Small Talk
Making pleasant, engaging conversation that will make the other person want to hang out with you is a goal everyone should have. Here are some things to chat about to better connect with your potential friend.
Kid classes: one thing I like to talk about with other parents is classes our children are in. sports, art classes, American Heritage girls, music lessons.
Hobbies: what do you love to do on the weekends or for fun? For example, I love thrift store shopping and many other people do to- so chatting about our latest treasures has been a great way to connect.
Vacation: chatting about your recent trip or future plans for Independence Day (as an example) is another great way to connect.
Ask them about the town they live in: this is important because you will be interacting with people in various places, it helps to know if this person lives 10 minutes away from you or an hour away. When I am meeting people, I hope to meet others who live close to where I live so we can arrange meetups easier. Think about your traveling radius with potential friends.
Get to know their family: If you are meeting at a dance class, does the dancer have siblings? Sometimes having other children who are the same age is a great way to connect.
Avoid negative subjects or comments: about their education choices, their family size and other rude comments. You don't want to become that person who is always handing out unwanted advice.
Sometimes your conversation is not small talk: your conversation evolve into something deeper. That is OK! Go with it.
Business Networking
Small businesses are so important for our society to run and it is important to support your neighbors! During the conversation, ask them what they do. This is an opportunity to get to know this person better, but also to network for each other's business. Even if you are a stay at home mom or homeschool mom, talking about your jobs or your spouse's job is a great way to connect.
Advertising online is tricky since you might not be attracting your ideal target audience. Online advertisements can be dismissed as spam. Many online groups also do not allow business posting. When chatting with someone in person, you have the opportunity to share this part of your life in a safe and appropriate way. Have an elevator speech ready for these situations.
You can help small business network as well. Maybe they know someone who can use your services or vice versa. Maybe this person is in the market for a painter and you can pass your friends painting business information along to them.
Be the Village
Networking with your peers is important, but interacting with people outside of your peer group or life stage is also important. This is an opportunity to mentor someone or learn from someone else who is a head of you in life.
Sometimes networking is about helping others. Maybe this person is dealing with the loss of a loved one and you can offer to bring them a meal. Or maybe the person is new to the area and you can suggest some great restaurants or kids spots that they can try.
Be mindful about who you ghost, who you reject and what bridges you burn. Do not gossip. Be a part of the change to improve the "village" among moms in your community. Don't be a mean girl!
Here are some tips for participating in a meal train, either as a the giver or recipient.
Here are some ways to support and help the school choice community.
Exchange Phone Numbers
When it is time to go, say "Ally had fun with your child at camp this week, I'd love to get the kids together sometime." Or: " This was a fun party, but we have to get going". "It was nice to meet you. I'd love to get our kids together sometime soon" and exchange numbers. I like to use the notepad app on my phone, but you can do whatever is easiest for you.
Make the first move and contact them within a few days to invite them to meetup. If both of you are waiting for the other person to text the other first, this potential friendship is guarantied to be DOA, (Dead on Arrival). Respond your messages in a timely manner.
I like exchanging phone numbers because it is a safe way to connect with someone. Everyone uses social media differently, but everyone has a phone number. It can also be done safely. There is caller ID, blocking abilities and you can easily send the call to voice mail or text if you are not available.
Keep it going!
Friendship dating is hard! It is so important to maintain your friendships after your first interaction. It is hard to make new friends and build rapport with them. It is hard to make the first movie and coordinate schedules. It's hard to chat with people at your child's dance class or summer camp and ask to exchange numbers. It's hard to work to make a good first impressions with strangers.
Be sure to work to maintain this friendship on your end in real life. Don't only "friend" them on FB or follow them on social media: plan to meetup with them again in a month or two. Add them to your address book, Christmas card list and birthday party guest list. It is unhealthy to maintain a friendship by yourself. You cannot be the only one inviting them to a playdate, sending cards and texting them. Hopefully, your new friend will put effort into the friendship and initiate meetups with you the future too.
For more tips on making friends as a mom, click here
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