Character Building Resources
- Jul 18
- 11 min read
Updated: Jul 24
Have you ever been somewhere like a wedding or a restaurant and witnessed disruptive, rude or bad behavior from a guest or customer? Or maybe you have been in a store and thought "why is the toothpaste locked up" or witnessed someone shopping in their pajamas. Maybe you saw a video about porch pirates online. Have you ever thought to yourself that they "should know better"?
The truth is that yes, in many situations people should know how to behave. However, good character is not something people are born with. People must be taught character skills by their parents so that they can get along well with others and act appropriately in any given situation.
What happens if parents do not teach character development to their children?
Children grow up without the necessary skills to be a productive, contributing members of society. In some situations they may eventually learn things the hard way. They might learn these skills from a source like a "friend" or online creator who provides them bad advice or incorrect information. What is something you had to learn the hard way as an adult?
"But whosoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6
Whether you are homeschooling or not, we as parents have a responsibility to teach our children to have good character.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
There are countless resources available and seemingly endless lists of character traits to teach your children. We encourage you to find and do what works for your family. We have outlined some of our favorite resources to help facilitate teaching character building to your children. When teaching character development or any lesson, we also encourage you to be age appropriate.
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You are the curriculum
Your children are watching how to handle tough situations from you: they can hear your phone conversations and see how you manage your time. Do not take this for granted. You are a model for them and they are observing what you do, how you do things, and will then copy your behaviors (good and bad).
Moreover, an open door policy facilitating free conversation is a must! It not only fosters a healthy relationship between you and your children, but your kids must be able to approach you to ask you what something means or to discuss a problem. They will be exposed to different things on TV, in their conversations with their friends at an art class or when you drive past a political sign on someone's lawn.
You must also be physically present enough to correct their behavior and manners and discipline them if needed. If you do not catch them in a lie when they are 10, the world will not be as kind to them when they act-out these behaviors as teenagers or adults. For example, do you really want your teenager to be fired from their first job because they lied about finishing one of their responsibilities (which is the same as lying about doing chores)?
Board games
Board games and card games are fun screen free hobbies and can be a healthy way to socialize with your friends and family.
They are also fantastic ways to facilitate character development. For example, children learn patience when waiting for their turn. They learn that some rules are necessary and why you shouldn't cheat at a game. They learn reading skills since they will need to read a prompt or a rule when playing. They learn strategy and thinking through things as they play a game.
There are many great titles on the market with new games hitting the shelves often. You might have loved some classic games like "Candy Land" or “Chutes and Ladders" growing up and you now have the opportunity to share those games with your children.
A few tips on shopping for games
Youtube is great for learning how to play a game you have never played before. There are many fantastic creators who will talk about, go through game play and teach you how to play what could be your family's next favorite game.
Be sure to look for used games at second hand stores and online markets. However, there is a risk that there may be missing pieces.
Look for travel sized games! They take up less space in your game closet and can easily be taken to a restaurant or on your vacation to play in the hotel room as a good break from screens.
There are also a lot of solo games available as well for children and adults.
How to live without devices
The use of technology in our daily lives is not a bad thing, but it can become a problem when used as a crutch for babysitting, to facilitate vices, used inappropriately, or used to facilitate bullying, crimes or other bad behaviors. Teach your children to have screen-free hobbies. Teach your children when it is inappropriate to have a device out and when it is not. Teach your children what cyberbullying is and how to keep safe from predators, but also be a safe person too. Teach your children how to use technology productively. We have a lot of rules in our home in regards to screens and devices and you should too.
Manners when having meals
Cooking is an important life skill and there are many ways to teach this skill. One way we teach how to cook is by having a library of physical cookbooks with photos available for our kids to look at and help prepare with us. They help us cook, watch us prepare meals and go grocery shopping with us often to help instill this life skill.
Manners around meals are also important. Teach your children to put devices away when eating a meal with other people. Children should never be using a device at a meal anyways. They need to know when and how to say please and thank you during a meal to a dinner party host, their parent, someone passing a dish to them or a waiter putting something in front of them.
They need to know restaurant etiquette: how to put their napkin down on their lap; how and when to tip; and how to order correctly. If you do not teach your children how to politely and professionally interact with restaurant staff, they are likely to be disrespectful towards service staff in the future. Teach your children how to be patient when waiting for their food. They need to know not to throw tantrums or run around in a restaurant. They need to know how to politely handle problem like the restaurant making a mistake on an order.
Time management
Teach your children how to manage a calendar, read a clock, manage to-do lists and use productivity tools to help meet deadlines, keep their promises and prioritize as things come up. Teach your children not to dawdle or waste other people's time,a nd when it is ok to chit chat or not.
Teach your children to respect other people's time. Other people or businesses may have made sacrifices in their schedule when making plans with them. Teach them to arrive for appointments or meetups with friends and family about 5- 10 minutes early and to never be late unless it's absolutely unavoidable.
Help end the "flake-out culture" by teaching them to follow through on their commitments. I can assume that the reason the dentist calls to confirm our appointment three separate times is that many people will flat out not show up to their appointment. This is wrong! Teach your children to never stand someone up. Cancel at least 24 hours before hand if you must. Canceling last minute for silly or avoidable reasons is rude and counts as "flaking out."
Patriotism
With the 250th birthday of our country just passing in July, I think many of us can agree that there is a renewed sense of patriotism in our communities. Many visitors who visited the United States from other countries to watch the World Cup created countless videos about their great experiences and freedoms they had that we -- as Americans -- sometimes take for granted.
As the 250th celebrations end, we must continue this effort and sense of patriotism. We must continue to love America and do what's best for our communities, neighborhood and our country as a whole.
"Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country"
- John F Kennedy
Voting: teach your children the importance of being an informed voter. Reserch ballot initiates, candidates and take them with you to vote! If they are not voting age yet, tell them what you voted for and why. Click to see our pro- homeschool voters guide.
Taxes: teach your children how taxes work!
History: our country is full of rich history! Stories of true heroism, sacrifice and patriotism! Take them to a war reenactment. Tour your local history museums, tell your children about your 9/11 story or your experience living through a natural disaster when you were young. Bake bread together or make homemade butter.
The constitution and the Bill of rights: if you do not teach your children to correctly and appropriately interpret the constitution, who will?
Current events: do you think there is a media bias or political issues that they need to know about? Then, you should tell your children the truth about what is happening in the world!
Friendship
In the analogy in the oranges metaphor (below), it is important not to allow your children to be around "bad fruit". However, it is also important to make sure your child is not the "bad fruit" either.
You must teach your children how to be the safe children who will one day grow up and navigate social situations as independent adults one day. Your children need to know how to play safely and nicely with other children, how to manage their emotions, not to touch other kids, what bullying is. How to have healthy, polite conversation without gossip or peer pressure. Teach your children to include people and refrain from "clique" behavior. Teach them to be mindful of who they ghost or reject.
Make new friends! Be safe, not paranoid.
Safety is a priority in our home. You should obviously do what is best for your family; however, we do not teach "stranger danger" for several reasons. One reason is that talking to strangers is a way to make new friends. Click to see tips about networking to grow your friendship circle
"Stranger danger" is often a blanket teaching for children to disengage from everyone they don't know in order to "be safe". However, Most Crime Victims Know Their Offenders. Instead of teaching "stranger danger", we teach our children about boundaries and safe people vs. unsafe people. We do not to allow forced association whenever possible. We are also intentional about creating healthy and safe social interactions by making plans with families who we feel are safe people to be around. We also supervise our children.
Children need adult supervision to physically protect them from dangerous people and situations. My children are always with us or with a trusted adult. Everyday we witness parents dropping off their young children at the curb at our music school so they can sit in the waiting room unaccompanied or to see young, unaccompanied children riding their E scooters around town unsafely: dropping off your children or letting them roam free in today's world is insane! Stop it.
You must pick your children's friends to interact with. The world is harsh and finding other normal, safe people for your family to be around is one way to keep your family safe from bullies, predators and bad influences. Your children will likely chat interact with and make friends with other children at an art class or the playground. Protect your children by ensuring that everyone your child befriends goes through you, the gatekeeper first. You must know who the parents are, maintain the friendships and schedule meetups with the parents so your children can have positive and healthy social interactions!
Teach your children how to be safe around other children and adults. Share your wisdom and rules about the people there, the location and situation. Does your children have a way to leave if they need to exit immediately? Our teen attended a youth camp last summer and one way we prepared him for the trip is by showing him photos of what different types of "contraband" may look like. Your teens may not know to stay away from drugs if they don't know what they look like. We also provided him with a dumb flip phone for emergencies.
We have the responsibility to facilitate healthy and safe social situations. Set up a game night or nerf war at your home. Ride scooters and rollerblades in your driveway!
The importance of education
Children not only need to know how to read, they must also be able to comprehend and enjoy reading enough to accomplish a goal like reading the news, instruction manual, home remodeling contract or even reading for pleasure as a healthy, screen free activity.
Teach your children that education is not something that ends at high school graduation. It is a life skill that spreads to adulthood. Your children must know how to learn a new skill, to be teachable when starting a new job to how to DIY a project if they want to avoid paying for a service to do it for them. They must resourceful enough to figure something out if and when the need arises.
Help your child plan for a future that makes sense. There are many different routes to take; attending a four year ivy league college, community college, trade school, taking gap year to travel, going to work in your family's business, etc. Whatever it is, have those conversations when they are young, not when they are 18, 24 or 30 (or never)!
Find a Bible Believing Church
A Bible believing church is one resource that can help in your children's character devlopment. While there are many great bible stories, youth groups, sermons and fellowship, parents are still ultimately responsible for preparing their children for their future with a moral foundation.
Other resources
Please note that these resources listed below are some of our personal favorites. We have no partnerships with anyone on this list. We hope this list helps you in your conversations with your children as well as add to your home library.
Brave books: You can buy their books via their subscription service or you can purchase them separately. The stories are great and the pictures are beautiful. While these are mostly picture books aimed at younger children, we truly believe that they can be used and enjoyed by children of all ages. https://bravebooks.us/collections/books
American Heritage girls/ Trail life: These are faith based "Girl Scout" and "Boy Scout" alternatives. Click to see our article about these groups.
Aesops Fables: These are short stories featuring animals that include a moral or a message. These stories are very old and there are many books available with or with photos to help teach your children good character. For example, "The Fox and the Goat" teaches to look before you leap.
Poor Richards Almanac: Ben Franklin published this book after writing it for 26 years and it is filled with "Wisdom on time, money, character, and success that's still relevant today." https://www.benfranklinvirtues.com/blog/poor-richards-almanack-quotes
Cat and Dog Theology: There are many great resources and books available on their website for children of all ages, however we would like to recommend this book. https://unveilinglory.myshopify.com/collections/homeschool/products/cartoon-book-102-differences-between-cats-and-dogs-for-kids
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